Thailand
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh the land of smiles, how can anyone seriously not fall in love with Thailand, great food and inspirational culture.
Tight arse Tips
Thailand is not the cheap place to drink and party all day like it once was with the falling Australian dollar, the exchange rate has dropped 30% in the last five years, so if thats your reason for going try other asian countries like the Philippines or Vietnam instead.
Do not exchange money at the airport they give you a shit exchange rate.
Again 7/11 is your friend and beer is $3 for a big bottle, but beware you can only buy alcohol from 11am to 2pm and again from 5 pm till midnight, so stock up.
From Suvarnabhumi Airport Consider using the skytrain into Bangkok city, or catching the S1 red bus to Khao Sanh Road it’s only $2. This bus leaves from gate 7 on the first floor. Drop-off is at the Burger King end of KSR. From Don Mueang Airport pickups are from gate 6 terminal 1 or gate 12 at terminal 2.
Getting around
You can use taxis, busses, trains or traditional TUK TUK’s
Bangkok
Bangkok is much like any other highly populated Asian city, with noise, pollution and kaos, however its good to know there are two international airports. Suvarnabhumi Airport is about an hour from the city and is assessible via the Skytrain, the other airport is Don Mueang and these airports are an hour apart in a taxi during peak traffic. There are beautiful temples and massive Buddhas everywhere to see, and after three days you’re over it. The weekend market, Floating market and Tiger temple are within an hour, just catch a bus or taxi for a few dollars. If you like poontang there’s Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy and good old Khao Sanh Road, where you can be loved long time 😉 For me Bangers is just a stepping stone into the land of smiles I never stay more than one night before going to another destination within Thailand.
Grand Palace
The palace was built in 1782 on 6 acres of well landscaped gardens and well maintained picturesque buildings. You cannot enter it wearing shorts but dont worry you can hire long trousers for about $2 and then simply return them as you exit.
Massive Buddhas
There are huge statues of buddhas in different positions, lying , sitting or standing, you can see them all in a few hours, see one youve seen em all i say lol.
River Kwai Bridge
A few hours drive from Bangkok is the historic Bridge over the River kwai, there is also a movie about it too. The bridge was built in the 1940s and is still in great condition even today, with millions of tourists trapsing over it.
Khao San Road
This seemingly quiet street during the day turns into one giant party at night when both ends of this short road are blocked off from traffic. The 400m of road becomes jam packed with street vendors and performers, trying to sell you everything from Roasted Scorpions to Viagra or Tuk Tuk rides to some dodgy ping pong show. The prices of alcohol below was current in 2010, and is for comparison to todays prices which are over double in 2019.
Getting there : From Suvarnabhumi Airport Consider using the skytrain into Bangkok city, or catching the S1 red bus to Khao Sanh Road it’s only $2. This bus leaves from gate 7 on the first floor. Drop-off is at the Burger King end of KSR. From Don Mueang Airport pickups are from gate 6 terminal 1 or gate 12 at terminal 2.
Floating Market
Try toi visit Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, a top attraction located only 1.5 hours from Bangkok. Experience the colorful busy and cultural scene of vendors selling products from their boats.
Tiger Temple
After 2 and a half hours in a bus from Bangkok, you arrive at the tiger temple and its 600TBT ($30AUD) including photography to enter. Feeding the Tiger cubs is Its amazing, and they are so cute, but with really long sharp claws and teeth lol. There are also a gathering of adult tigers as well but they seem so docile, probably bored to death in captivity, and chained up, its rather sad. They seem really tame, and so long as you obey the instructions given by the staff that will be explained to you, you will be fine. After feeding lunch is provided.
Chaing Mai
My personal favourite city in Thailand, you can get there on the overnight first class train that leaves right outside of Don Mueang Airport at 630 pm every evening, for $65 for a sleeper cabin sharing with one other person. There are cheaper communal sleepers on the train also for $35, but I prefer the end carriage with it’s six private sleeper cabins for the extra $30. The train is aircon with wifi and a restaurant on board. Once it’s daylight you’re traveling through the mountains close to CM for a few hours and arrive at 730am. Or you can fly to CM for about $75 and experience nothing.
Chaing Mai is home to the digital nomads and offers educational benefits through Muay Thai Boxing or just embracing spirituality and the kindness of the Thai People. I recommend staying in a hotel near the Thapae Gate in the Loi Kroh area, it’s where all the action is. We stay a month in the Mandala House with its massive rooms, swimming pool and included buffet breakfast for $50 a day for two people. The old city is in the shape of a giant square with a moat around all four sides, I walk around is every day at about 7am it’s about 6km right around.
There are three giant shopping malls that sell anything you want, but they are not selling $5 t shirts and copy rolexes or tasers lol. The night bazaar is where you get that stuff, right outside Hard Rock Cafe and Burger King.
Speaking Boxing I recommend the Chaing Mai Boxing Academy https://chiangmai-muay-thai-gym.business.site/, for $15 you get a 90 minute lesson that start every day at 2pm, and then every hour until 8pm, my son went there three times a week. They are located in the old city.
Transportation is a scooter hired from Chloe Bike https://www.facebook.com/Chloebikes/rentals at $60 a month for a top condition 125cc scooter capable of carrying two fat bastards at 80km/hr, but do go to Chaing Mai Buddy agency and get a license it only takes a few hours $60.
Other touristy stuff to do is the Grand Canyon 90 minutes West away on a scooter, or the Wat Phra That Doi Suthep temple 45 minutes away North East, stopping at the waterfalls on the way.
When in Thailand why not learn how to cook Thai grub, this place is a full day course for $40 where you go to the markets to select ingredients right through to cooking and finally eating your own creations. The venue is called the Thai Kitchen Cookery Centre located on Loi Kroh Soi 1.
Hua Hin
Three hours south west of Bangers lies the Thai Royal families favourite holiday destination Hua Hin. To get there from Suvarnabhumi Airport, go to Arrival building level 1 between gate 7 &8 to the Pattaya-Huahin counter and buy a ticket for $15 each way busses run between 06:30 am and 8:30 pm on the hour, journey time is 4 hours.
Try to get a hotel as close to Soi 76 as possible, because that’s where the most restaurants and nice beaches are as well as well as the Night market and grand plaza mall. Motorcycle hire is also available as usual but make sure you have a license or are prepared to pay $15 a day fine, the bike hire only costs $5 lol. Another fun thing to do is go to Black Mountain Water Park, its about 10km west of town but well worth it, we rode our scooter there, entrance is $25 and $15 for kids and its never crowded. http://www.blackmountainwaterpark.com/
If you get thirsty go see my mate Rob at the 77 Coconut beach bar and restaurant at the end of soi 77. Hes the viking looking bloke on the right. https://www.facebook.com/coconut77huahin/
Thailands oldest train station is also worth a quick visit, its a 2 beer walk from the beach on soi 76 heading west.
If chocolates are your thing, the Chocolate factory is filled with diabetes enhancers that taste divine at the end of Soi 65.
Krabi
About 250km North by car from the Malaysian Border, lies the seaside paradise known as Krabi, namely Ao Nang Beach, Krabi City isnt much chop in itself. Its like Patong in Phuket without all the crowds and traffic, and a lot more relaxing in my opinion.
While in Ao Nang why not take a 45 minute high speed boat or one and a half hours in the ferry out to Phi Phi islands, which is a small acrchipeligo of four islands classified as the jewel of the Andaman sea. We preferred the high speed option as we only wanted a day trip and paid about $80 per person return including lunch and park entry fees.
Catching the ferry from Krabi to Phi Phi is convenient and affordable at 450 TBT ($23AUD). As mentioned above, ferries depart from the newly built passenger pier to the south of the town, and they leave four times per day, making it fairly easy to connect with a ferry if you’re coming to Krabi from elsewhere in Thailand. At the time of writing, ferry departure times from Krabi’s Klong Jilad Pier are 9am, 10.30am, 1.30pm, and 3pm. The only exception is that the 3pm ferry actually departs at 4pm on Fridays
Phuket
I personally didnt like Patong much due to the seediness and overall atmosphere in the city especially at night, where punters get asked by all the touts allong bangla Road to watch a ping pong show or some other dodgy activity. I personally much prefer Kamala beach a mere 10km north of Patong, about $3AUD away in a taxi. We hired a motorcycle and rode around on that all 3 of us, until the police fined us for not wearing a helmet and not having a license, a huge $40AUD fine lol.
Two things are guaranteed anywhere in thailand and thats cheap tasty food and cold beer.
Other things to do is elephant riding which i think is cruel and quad bike riding which is much the same in any country so nothing special there either. bangla Road gets closed off every night, so that the wall to wall party can begin till all hours of the morning offering cold beers, insect delacasies and other traditional thai snacks, curries and deserts all reasonably priced.